And in the 27th year: Moving to Abuja, Knowing my Dad

**draws first blood**

It’s funny how I always have so many ideas running through my head when I have to write a partnership proposal or develop a strategy document. But when I need to do a personal article, I struggle (a confession, innit?). I made up my mind to clear my drive after I encountered some issues with my Microsoft Onedrive upgrade, which made me realise I worked/collaborated on over 150 documents in 2023 (2020 still tops this). I saw some *redacted* documents I created and I was like, wow, Damo, you dey try. My intention is not to bore you with the volume of work I did in 2023. You probably can’t even relate to my excitement, so, let’s get back to business.

In 2023, I had to be strong in more ways than I could have envisaged at the shout of ‘Happy New Year’ on January 1. I had plans to finally move out of my parent’s house by the end of Q2 (the free food was the only thing that kept me till 2023 anyway). The first few months of the year witnessed me setting up my workspace; trying to prepare for my own house. I never passed on a chance to tell my folks that I had little time left to spend in their house, I was saving up for it, taking every gig that showed up and practising monk-level frugality.

My notepad was filled with items I needed for the house, with a little tick to identify the ones that were already gotten, and an asterisk to signify high-priority items. My Twitter bookmarks were beginning to shape into regular patterns of ‘for-rent’ houses and style inspiration for minimalist living rooms. My plan looked so formidable that I was only counting down to the last month of Q2 before putting my foot on the gas.

“We are moving into the next phase and I will need your presence in Abuja” said my Founder. It wasn’t the first time he had mentioned it. The first time was 9months prior when I was in Abuja for a post-birthday vacation and he suggested it after a little discussion, and I sincerely wasn’t having it. But this time seemed serious. It was followed up with late-night conversations, endless ideas (he’s an idealist) and the big picture. I knew I had no choice. The deed was done. (Inserts Fabrizio Romano here we go!) Moving to Abuja, the first months in Abuja will be another story.

My father and I have never been close. We hardly ever disagreed, but we didn’t have to agree either. My fondest memory of him was when he used to buy suya on days when he felt generous. Through Univesity, our calls were characterized by a lot of silence between words. Every contact and conversation with him, although seldom, felt more customary than spontaneous.

But in 2023, everything changed. During my 8-month stint at home, my dad needed my assistance with a deal he was doing with some white guys. I was to set up a Teams account for him, reply to emails and also remind him of meetings. So there I was, my dad’s virtual assistant (an irony, right).

We had to spend time together discussing the action points of each meeting so that birthed personal conversations. March 2023 was the first time we’ll discuss for over 60 minutes. During our daily conversations, I discovered he used to write, and his maths skills were once heralded by his peers in his teenage years. Leaving home halted the momentum of our fresh friendship. I also quickly discovered that we still don’t have much to discuss if we are not in the same house. But it’s better now, the effort from both ends is growing, and I hope to write about this soon.

For those who want to understand the genesis of the series, kindly start with this short piece: I’m writing again

I’m hoping to grow my medium followers to 200 by June, so if you like my stories and would love to keep up, show some love by following this page. *proceeds to prostrate*